Anatomy Of A “Good” Spanking–From Ouch To Tears
It may sound silly, but believe it or not, effective spanking takes more than a paddle and a strong arm. No, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to effectively deal with a bottom that needs attention, but it helps to have a little knowledge.
Sure, you can just swat away, but if you do , you won’t have the most fun. I’ve been on both ends of the paddle. For the last 20 years, I’ve been receiving spankings. For over a decade before that I delivered them and taught spanking workshops. I think this puts me in a good position to understand how spankings work.
The first key to effective spanking is to learn how to read your bottom. Anyone who has been spanked knows that it’s impossible to handle a hard paddling without any warmup. This may sound odd since the point of spanking someone is to deliver pain. Whether the spanking is for punishment or part of a BDSM scene, the need to “condition” the target is required
The idea is to start with relatively mild swats and note the reaction. Increase force until you get a strong response. This can be screams, kicking feet, demands to stop, or loud grunting. Of course, you have a safe word. Mine is “red.” If I use that, Mrs. Lion stops at once. As long as I don’t use my safe word, she proceeds.
For maximum effect–the most misery for me–the spanking follows a specific pattern. First, my body pumps hormones that make me more immune to pain. The spanked area begins to get numb. So, effective spanking has to advance force to keep ahead of the numbness. The longer you spank, the harder you have to swat as you continue.
For optimum effect, once you get going, you should increase the force until you get just past your bottom’s limit. You want him to start to lose control. When it looks like he is about ready to safe word, back off. Don’t stop swatting, just reduce force to a level that gets yelps and kicking. Then, increase force again until you go just past his limit. Keep this pattern up for the rest of the spanking.
We’ve found that ten minutes is the minimum time for an effective spanking. Mrs. Lion sets a timer. She usually doesn’t stop when the timer goes off, which I hate. She continues until she decides I’ve had enough.
Many bottoms go through several phases during a spanking. The first is initial shock. This is where warmup is critical. The next phase, I call it “punishment.”–Mrs. Lion generally stops during this phase–is where most of the suffering happens. If you want to go for tears, the force has to increase and stay just past the limit of the bottom. There’s no backing off. Normally, the bottom will get angry during this phase. He will probably need to be restrained. This is serious stuff and not for the faint of heart.
If the anger phase is continued,it will eventually cause a dramatic change. The anger will disappear and be replaced by crying. I’ve never cried during a spanking, but those who have say it’s cathartic. Mrs. Lion has spanked me into the angry phase. I hate it. Oh yeah, I’m supposed to. In fact, this is probably a very important part of punishment spanking. Tears are nice, but anger is necessary. It means the spanking has triggered the fight-or-flight instinct.
This is important. Fight or flight engages the lizard brain. It is an instinctive response to a perceived threat. Since the bottom can’t escape (light) or fight since he is restrained, he is forced to accept that he has no control of the situation. This isn’t something I think about during the spanking. I can’t. I’m too busy with my strong emotions.
The value for me comes after Mrs. Lion is done. The anger quickly fades. I’m not happy, but I almost always sense a change. This only happens when I’m punished, and Mrs. Lion pushes me into the anger phase. Something else happens, too. My behavior changes. I don’t always mean to change, but I do. For example, Mrs. Lion made a rule that I would be punished if I spilled food on my shirt. Yeah, I did that often. Once she started spanking me every time I spilled, I did it less often. Now, I almost never spill. It wasn’t a conscious change. The spanking worked. My lizard brain changed my behavior. I was conditioned not to spill.
The same thing happened with masturbation. Mrs. Lion locked me in a male chastity device for over three years. I was only let out when supervised. I couldn’t masturbate. Mrs. Lion made a serious rule that masturbation was not allowed. The male chastity device enforced it. I am conditioned not to jerk off. I haven’t in almost eleven years. I’m sure that I never will again. I can’t.
What if she had a way to know if I jerked off and spanked me each time I did? I’m pretty sure that I would have learned just as well. Of course, she wouldn’t be able to monitor me 24/7. The male chastity device took care of that problem.
The main difference between behavior correction spanking and “play” spanking is intention. Punishment spanking is intended to help change behavior. It doesn’t matter if the change is trivial or serious—every infraction is punished. Play spanking is administered because the bottom wants/needs to be spanked. Intensity can be just as strong as a punishment.
All adult spankings should be consensual. I’ve agreed that Mrs. Lion can spank me as she sees fit. That doesn’t mean I will be happy about receiving a punishment spanking. I hate them. But I agreed that I needed her to do this for me. I want her to help me improve. Spanking is something I need.
