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In: Male Chastity, Punishment, Rewards

By bedtime Tuesday, barring any unforeseen circumstances, Lion will be recaged. I’ve decided his next orgasm will be on September 9. He will have the opportunity to earn both rewards and punishments. I will determine if the rewards and punishment change that date. He may earn swats instead of time added, for example.

I have also decided that if he does, in fact, earn an added day, he cannot use a love coupon to nullify it. That would be cheating, my pet. However, I never really addressed using multiple coupons at once. Assuming he has not earned the addition of another day or more, could he use two coupons to move his time up by two days? Or could he move up a day and be allowed to choose the type of orgasm? I think I will decide for each wait time. This time he can use multiple coupons with the exception of not being able to deduct a day if he earns a day as punishment. If I do not give Lion specific rules at the beginning of a wait time then he may use any combination of coupons.

Lion is correct. I will begin anal training again. It made no sense to do it this weekend because he was sick. By next weekend he may be sorry he feels better. With no more trips to get ready for, I’ll have plenty of time to pay attention to him. As he knows, attention is not necessarily a good thing.

By:
In: Keyholder, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

Lion wrote about his latest ruined orgasm and suggests that he be punished for ejaculating without permission. Number one, we never had an agreement about that. I can’t just retroactively decide to enforce a rule I make today for something that happened days ago. Number two, I think he’s looking for ways to be punished.

After our eight hour drive yesterday (we always forget to factor in stops along the way) as we were setting up the RV, we had a leaky hose. Lion asked me to look at it to see where the leak was coming from. I did and started to tell him. He interrupted. When I snapped at him and finished my assessment of the leak he told me to check again because it couldn’t possibly be leaking from that point. This remark is dangerously close to something my ex would say. I rechecked the leak and, no surprise, it was leaking from the same spot I saw it the first time.

What Lion didn’t realize is that I brought some of his Good Lion and Naughty Lion coupons with us. As soon as we were all set up I wrote out a Naughty Lion coupon for his remark. He says he’s sorry he ever made them. Of course he wouldn’t be saying that if he had earned a Good Lion coupon first. He was to get four hard swats as punishment.

Then we went to dinner. Lion had oysters. Squishy things that don’t look appetizing at all. He said they were great. He followed that up with rare prime rib. It was still mooing. A few hours later, he had what I assume is food poisoning. He was up half the night in pain.

Needless to say, he didn’t get his punishment. Nor did he get his orgasm. As he said, it’s not the end of the world. I didn’t tell him we’ll try again in December. Things happen that delay plans. I think the reason I was so upset the other night, other than the fact that he was disappointed, is that I don’t have much to offer except my word, and I went back on my word that he’d have an orgasm.

We still have a lot of work to do. I’m sure I’ll disappoint him again. He needs to handle it better. I do too. But we’re in this for the long haul. We’ll figure it out.

[Lion — I didn’t suggest punishing me for not controlling my orgasms. I said that it seemed fair that I take some responsibility for it. I did say that others who have been trained this way did get spanked or something when they had an “accident”. In this case, I am not looking for punishment. I just think I should help by holding back.Negative reinforcement seems logical to me.]

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Punishment, Sex

I am now nine days into my eleven day wait. I’ve gone through my typical chastity phases: horny, grumpy, and now very horny. I’m a little surprised that even after all these months my response stays the same. I was thinking about the difference between now, being caged and committed to surrendering sexual control and before we started. Before we began our chastity adventure, we weren’t having much sexual contact. I would regularly go more than a week without masturbating. But somehow it was different.

A big part of the change is that Mrs. Lion gives me a lot of sexual attention. Granted, she doesn’t necessarily give me sexual satisfaction, but she makes sure that I am regularly stimulated to the edge of orgasm. That prevents me from suppressing my sexual interest as I did before. That stimulation assures I can’t forget for a single day how much I want release. It’s regular foreplay without the payoff. I’m pretty sure that is what causes the general need for sex (duh!) and the resulting frustration probably makes me grumpy. I’ve noticed that if I don’t get that sexual stimulation for more than two days, my arousal level falls off and I begin to get “comfortable” with the lack of sex. My guess is that younger males will not lose their edge so fast, if at all. Aging has reduced some hormone levels; a good thing when caged. This could explain why the largest number of caged males are over fifty.

There are other, more significant differences. Mrs. Lion is learning to be more assertive and less worried about “hurting” me. If you read some of her early posts, you can see her concern that I not be too frustrated, or that she not give me much pain. Now, she is far more confident. She is amused by my frustration and gets real pleasure out of edging me and giving me ruined orgasms. That’s a big change. Last night I grumbled about being very horny. Her response was, “Do you want to wait a few more days?”

That’s a big change! I shut up. I did wonder if she would really do it, but I truly didn’t want to take the risk. I really want to come! I have no idea how I would react if she extended my wait. Given her current state of mind, I better not pout or it could get much worse. In the past I didn’t think a threat like that would have much effect on me. But after nine days it definitely got my full attention. Should she actually do it? I will regret writing this, but I think she should. The reason is an old adage in the discipline game: a punishment undemonstrated is not an effective deterrent.

I think the biggest difference now is that she made the threat at a time when I am counting the hours until I can finally come. If she did it a week ago, it wouldn’t have felt very serious at all to me. Now, if she does find a reason to make me wait longer, I will remember how much I hated it and if she makes the threat again, even on the first day of a wait, I will know how it felt at the end when I could have been able to come. I realize that if she does do this now, she will have to keep me caged on our trip; not so much to prevent cheating as to reinforce my helplessness and her power.

There are some males in long-term chastity who at some point stop wearing their devices. They still follow all the rules and wait the times they agreed to. But there is a big difference. They are doing it because they want to. Ok, I want this too. But I also want it when for a while, at least, I don’t want it. The cage prevents me from changing any of the rules. No matter how much I want to come, as long as I am locked in, I can’t. That’s what I love about the experience. Mrs. Lion truly has full control.

And that brings me to the biggest difference of all: Mrs. Lion now embraces that control. In the past, she gave me the experience she thought I wanted. She made me wait long enough to get frustrated, but not too long. She gave me a few swats for breaking a rule, and she teased me because I like it. I’m not saying that’s all changed. It hasn’t. But things are a little different now. She teases me because she likes to see me squirm as I get near orgasm and she likes my reaction when she stops just short of it. She appears more comfortable saying no to me and letting me know she is in charge.

I know she isn’t becoming a different person. I wouldn’t want her to change. But she is learning to take some pleasure from giving me what I want. She is using the power dynamic the way I had hoped she would. Best of all, she deals with my objections and growls with amusement, indifference, and the threat of more wait time if I get out of line. Most significantly, I think she understands the concept of “something I love to hate”. That’s really tough because at the time she does those things I really hate them. I want her to stop or not make me do something I don’t like with all my heart.

But now she knows that her lion is a little more complex than that. She’s learned that by doing those things I hate, she is giving me a wonderful gift. She is allowing me to experience the control I want so badly, and by doing this, she is really turning me on. Every shock, spanking, ruined orgasm, or extra day of waiting feeds a deep need that brings me both heat and satisfaction. Thank you, Mrs Lion.

By:
In: Keyholder, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

When I read Lion’s post today my first thought was, “Great. Now I have to come up with punishments so he’ll accept rewards.” And I hate coming up with punishments. So I figured we were at an impasse. He said he felt like he was topping from the bottom if he got a reward for doing things he should be doing anyway. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that by not accepting the rewards he’s topping from the bottom, too. If I tell him that by cleaning out the garage he can have one day knocked off his sentence and he cleans the garage (which technically he should have done without a reward) but then says he doesn’t want a day off, we’re doing things his way. It may not take a lot of physical effort to come up with rewards and punishments, but since I’m fighting my own nature it is difficult. Why expend the energy if nothing comes of it?

Growing up, I always wondered why less emphasis was placed on the good things people do than on the bad things. Why is it more important to punish than to reward? Don’t I want to encourage good behavior even if it is something he should be doing? Don’t we give kids allowances for doing chores? At work, we’re constantly told we didn’t get certain things done, but when we hold up the body of work that we actually accomplished, they tell us that’s our job. Why didn’t I get this one thing done? Because I was busy doing all these things here. No good. You should have done it all. Why not give some praise for what was done and then perhaps ask how long the other part will take?

Why can’t I give Lion tasks to do and reward him when they are done? Why do I have to punish him for not doing things or for doing the wrong things? I’m not saying I’ll never punish him. I’m just saying it’s not a comfortable way for me to operate. I was actually proud of myself for thinking of a way for him to earn rewards. I don’t have a great track record in the reward/punishment department. If he doesn’t want the reward then it was a waste of my time. Besides, if I’m the one in charge then why does he get to choose if he wants the reward or not?

Right now I’m throwing in the towel for this wait time. Any time off he may have earned has now been eaten up by the punishment I would have given him for topping from the bottom. Net effect: zero. We’ll try again next time.