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In: Rewards, Games, Mrs Lion Comments

My phone alerted me at around 7:30 this morning that a storm was coming. I guess the dog knew already since she’d had me up at 7 to go out. By 8:15 I heard the rumbling. Lion said I slept through some very loud booms. It’s too bad. I love thunderstorms. We listened to the storm for a bit and then we both fell back to sleep. The next thing I knew, it was after 9 and then we both woke up somewhere around 11.

I’m glad we got extra sleep. Obviously we needed it. Sometimes we just need a lazy Saturday, or Sunday to recharge our batteries. I was so tired I think that affected my ability to mow the lawn yesterday. I only got the front done and somehow I managed to lose the gas cap along the way. It’s probably somewhere obvious, but my exhaustion wouldn’t allow me to see it. We ordered another one and I’m sure the original will show up as soon as the new one gets here. My father’s Yankee ingenuity helped me fashion an impromptu cap out of plastic wrap and a hair tie.

When I mentioned mowing the lawn, Lion said I shouldn’t. I knew rain was coming and I wanted to be one step ahead of it. It needs to be done and I’m the one who needs to do it. His argument against it was that it takes so much out of me. This is code for my lack of energy for sex later on. It always bothers me when he says things like that. I have a chore that I’d really rather not do because it does wipe me out and makes me sore, but I have to do it and he’s worried about sex. He’ll say he doesn’t want me to be sore because he doesn’t want me to be sore, but the underlying reason is there. [Lion — I wasn’t thinking about sex. I didn’t want Mrs. Lion to be uncomfortable.]

By the time I dragged myself out to do the dishes from dinner, put away some packages that were delivered, and took my shower, it was already 8:30. The later it gets, the less likely it is that Lion will be available for play. He snoozed while I let my hair dry a little bit. I brought over the Box O’Fun and Lion made his choice. Ironically, it was spanking. Oops. He’d just had a punishment spanking and he was still feeling a little sore. I suppose I could have allowed him to choose again, but we haven’t really had this situation before so we continued on. I don’t think I anticipated his getting in the punishment position. He’s always just rolled over on the bed for a play spanking. There was nothing wrong with his position. I guess maybe it affected me more than him.

It’s been a long time since I’ve wailed away on him with my bare hands. I have to say, it was uncomfortable. My palms were stinging and I hadn’t even really gotten up to full force yet. I used a few implements on him to save my hands, but I should be able to spank harder and longer with my hands. I think I’ve done myself a disservice by picking spanking for punishment. I’m way out of practice with play spanking. We’ll have to figure out a way to rectify that situation that doesn’t get in the way of punishment spankings.

The thought that occurred to me as I was spanking him, other than my stinging hands, is that he wasn’t really able to enjoy a play spanking so close to a punishment spanking and maybe I need to put a “Do-over” card or two in the Box o’Fun. If he pulls one of those cards, he can redeem it for a different pick. It can be sort of a get out of jail card. If he has a “Do-over” card he can trade Velcro for another chance at something else. Theoretically, he runs the risk of picking the same thing again, or he can get something equally as distasteful to him. (I mistyped “distasteful” as “disteasteful” which sounds like a word Lion would coin) The “Do-over” card would have no expiration date and could be used for any card in the Box o’Fun. Obviously, he can’t get out of a punishment. I think it’s a good idea to give him some say in our play. If he knows he won’t enjoy a play spanking, why do it?

Another way I could give him a do-over is to reward him for the good things he does. I’ve struggled to find rewards for him so maybe that’s the answer. If I give him that as a reward he wouldn’t be at the mercy of the Box o’Fun. I think I just talked myself into it. A reward it is!

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In: Punishment, Rewards

I guess I had a “eureka” moment the other day when I came up with my penny idea. I’m not sure why it took me so long to figure out that if I want Lion to have rewards, I just have to give them to him rather than give him the option to take them. To a point, I understand his point of view. If he decides when to get a reward, then he has a certain amount of power.

However, if I want to give him a reward, there’s no guarantee he’ll be receptive to it. Well, that all depends on the reward. I don’t think he’ll ever turn down the chance to not be punished for gaining weight. He might turn down an orgasm if he isn’t in the mood, but never a punishment reprieve. So I just have to make sure the rewards are something he wants no matter what.

I have to decide how many pennies Lion has to have to earn a reward. Should it be different for each reward? Does a punishment reprieve on a regular punishment night cost more or less than a punishment reprieve for not losing weight? Of course, I’ve only thought of those two rewards so far. There may be more as we go along. And we’ll have to see how fast he accumulates (and loses) pennies. If I decide he needs ten pennies to avoid the gaining weight punishment, but he never gets there, we’ll be done before we start. What happens if he has one penny and is rude to me? Can the balance ever go negative?

Rules are frustrating. Not just for the recipient. The rule maker has to figure out every angle. Not that Lion will try to find a loophole. There are just a lot of “what if”s. And then I have to keep my eyes open. It’s not like I have a speed camera that will snap a picture of Lion being rude and automatically mail him a ticket. Wouldn’t that be a great invention, though? Nah. It would take the personal investment out of the equation.

Naturally, Lion and I will work through the details and when we find something missing, we’ll try to fix it. Nothing we’ve tried has worked out perfectly the first time around. Isn’t that part of the fun of doing it?

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Power Exchange, Rewards, Rules

The other day I wrote about keeping FLR and domestic discipline alive during Lion’s recovery. I’ll need to keep my eyes and ears open, and point out when he strays from the rules. I won’t be enforcing them, but he should still be aware when he breaks one.

Last night, in the shower, I came up with another idea. I haven’t hashed out all the details yet, but  think I have a good start. When Lion makes a respectful request, he’ll get one penny. When he makes a rude request, he loses two pennies.

For example, if he asks politely for a glass of water, one penny added. If he tells me to get him his medication, two pennies gone. I believe his drug-addled mind can still tell the difference between right and wrong. He should have more pennies added than taken away.

What’s the prize for accumulating all those pennies? Off the top of my head, I’m thinking he might get a pass on an upcoming punishment night once the rules are reinstated. A certain amount of pennies might equate to a pound or two to save him from a weekly weigh-in. Maybe I’ll bring him a special treat in exchange for some pennies.

Lion is usually reluctant to cash in reward coupons. I won’t give him a choice this time. I’ll decide what those pennies are good for. And when. All he can do is earn them or lose them.

It’s taken me a long time to figure out that the secret to giving Lion rewards is to take away his ability to decide not to use them. My Lion is a good boy and he deserves to be rewarded accordingly.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Punishment, Rewards, Spanking

As you may recall, Lion and I have been trying to lose weight. I got the idea that this weight loss procedure should play into our FLR. As incentive for Lion losing weight, I decided he should get punished if he gains weight. If his weight stays the same or if he loses weight, his buns are safe.

Aside from his kidney surgery, he has steadily lost weight. Before his surgery, he wasn’t eating so it stands to reason he would lose weight and then gain weight once he started eating after the surgery. He was sick so I didn’t punish him when he gained weight at that point. I’m not a monster.

I don’t have a minimum weight he needs to lose each week. As long as he maintains or loses, I count that as a win. Lion does too. Otherwise, he gets spanked. He does not want to be spanked. I’m not sure if the spanking itself or dreading it is worse.

This week didn’t go very well at our weigh-in. We both gained weight. Of course, we were not adhering to our low-carb diet as well as other weeks. I think eating well takes more effort and it’s boring. It’s much easier to grab a pizza or burgers. Tastier too, to me.

Right now, Lion is dreading the punishment for his weight gain. How many swats will he get? How hard will they be? What can he do to avoid it? Will I forget to punish him? He’s just a poor, injured Lion. Why would I be so mean as to punish him?

Ha! Poor Lion. He may fear the punishment, but on some level, he looks forward to it. He knows it means I care enough to hold him to his rules. If I tell him he’s earned punishment and then forget enough times, he’s upset because it looks like I don’t care. What’s the purpose of the rules if I don’t enforce them? Why should he follow them?

The truth is, even when I say the rules have been suspended, Lion tends to follow them anyway. For example, when he has his kidney stones, he still waited until I ate before he ate. Right now, many of the rules have been suspended because of his shoulder. He still follows them. Once he has his surgery, I’m sure he’ll falter, but that’s okay. They’ve been suspended for just that reason.

When I see him adhering to the rules, I try to recognize him. I think it’s important, maybe more so, to tell him when I see him doing something right. He likes to hear “good boy” too. Good boy isn’t really natural for me yet. I say it sometimes, but I bet he’d like to hear it more often. I generally just thank Lion for waiting to eat. It’s a work in progress.