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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Sex, Spanking

We had a very successful play session yesterday afternoon. Lion’s buns were very pink by the time I got done with them. He did, however, squirm a bit and insist that I was hitting too hard and for too long. I disagreed and kept going. That’s sort of a first for me. Usually he complains about the same time I was going to stop and he takes that to mean that he influenced me. This time I decided to keep going even if I would have normally stopped.

It’s been a very long time since he’s had a sore bottom for fun. I took a picture of his rosy cheeks but I don’t think the picture quite showed the effects of all my hard work. At least Lion felt it. And Mr. Weenie was at attention when he rolled over. It didn’t take long for Lion to reward me with a yummy mouthful. Between tying him up, the long spanking, and the orgasm, he was one happy boy. He was even talking about it hours later when we went to bed.

I’ve decided to use the orgasm calendar near the tv to indicate Lion’s last orgasm rather than his next scheduled one. That way we can both see how long he has waited until the next one even if he doesn’t know when that elusive next orgasm will be. [You can see this information if you look at the right column] And I will take my cues from him to see when to give him one. As he mentioned in his post, he’ll go through a lull of a few days where he won’t want an orgasm. Then his need will increase for a while. At some point it will drop off. My goal is to keep his interest up for as long as possible. Sometimes I may go beyond the point where he loses interest, but that’s too bad. He can’t always have everything exactly when he wants it.

I don’t think I’ll intentionally give him any ruined orgasms. This time the experiment is my ability to read him. A ruined orgasm with throw things off. And, of course, we are still continuing the experiment of domestic discipline. I will not be giving him daily maintenance swats. I think I’ve gotten quite good at whacking him hard enough for him to get the message. I need to find reasons to correct his behavior now.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments, Sex, Spanking

I told Lion the other night that he’d get a nice spanking today. One that he might need to be tied down for. As if he ever needs a reason to be tied down. That’s a treat all unto itself for him. And he wouldn’t really need to be tied down if I do the spanking correctly. But, like I said, tying him down is an added treat.

He hasn’t had a nice long play session in a while. I’ve been too busy and tired. Without my second job I can be a lioness of leisure on the weekends. That probably means Lion will get a lot more attention. Good and bad. I can also pay more attention to his mistakes which will then be added to his punishment list. Uh oh. Poor Lion. But I’m sure he’ll be happier too. He likes being the center of my attention, no matter what kind of attention it is.

I think we can both benefit from the added distraction of a long play session. There’s been too much bad stuff happening. It would be easy to get dragged down. Playing is a good way to keep us involved with each other. We are normally the center of each other’s world, but no more so than when I’m whomping on his butt or pegging him. It’s just me and my Lion. And by the end of the night he’ll receive his orgasm. He hasn’t been too horny lately. I’m sure that will change. He’s never said no after a good whomping, especially when he’s been restrained.

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In: Advice for a new keyholder, Advice to caged males, Female led relationship with discipline, Keyholder101, Lion's Journal, Male Control (training), Punishment, Spanking
Spanking Spoon
Mrs. Lion’s wooden spoon is about 24 inches long and very thick and heavy. She spanks me with the back of the spoon. I can’t help but squirm with each swat.

Yesterday, I was extremely horny. Mrs. Lion’s tease on Sunday night had a strong effect on me. Mrs. Lion said that she would give me an extra tease and deny last night. First, she told me to roll over for spanking. She asked if there were any items on my list that needed discipline. When she asked me, I realized that there was now one: I forgot to remind her that Monday night is punishment night. So, in addition to her “practice” spanking, she had to discipline me for forgetting to remind her.

She used the large wooden spoon last night. Each swat really hurt. I squirmed away a few times. She patiently pulled me back into position and continued. This went on for some time. My bottom stung for an hour after she finished. She reminded me that I got more swats because I forgot to remind her about punishment night. I will be sure to remind her on Thursday.

A half hour later, she did a long tease and deny. She edged me over and over. At the end she used her mouth. Her last oral edging went a bit too far. I ended up with a ruined orgasm. She was genuinely sorry she did that. I wasn’t upset. That ruined orgasm reduced the tension I had been feeling.  It was my fault. I didn’t signal the oncoming orgasm soon enough. I’ll have to ask her if I should add that omission to my list for Thursday.

Over the last year of so we’ve learned a lot about enforced chastity. I thought I knew all I needed, but I was wrong. Mrs. Lion, being much smarter about these things, understood that we both needed a lot of training before we were seriously pursuing enforced chastity. I had to learn to handle the emotional roller coaster that being kept horny and unable to come causes. Mrs. Lion had to learn to harden up and try to enjoy my frustration. That is very difficult to do.

The problem is that when I asked her to lock me up, I had done lots of research and had thought about enforced chastity for over fifteen years. I figured that I was truly ready. Mrs. Lion agreed because she knew that she would make me happy by locking me up. Neither of us understood what it would really be like. We went through considerable pain and difficulty. It turned out that I need gradually increasing waits to help me learn to handle the frustration. Those same waits taught Mrs. Lion to handle me.

Based on my email and what I read on forums and other blogs, it appears that the majority of men starting out with enforced chastity expect to be where I am today. They believe the same things I did; enforced chastity is easy to do and a keyholder only had to tease and set release dates. I think that one reason so many couples quit is failure to realize that enforced chastity requires substantial training for both partners.

When I sprung domestic discipline on Mrs. Lion, she immediately realized that we both had a lot to learn if we want to succeed in our FLR (Female Led Relationship). I have to agree. There are quite a few new things for us in FLR: We both have to get used to Mrs. Lion observing and correcting my behavior; we both have to learn how to handle serious discipline; and, we have to make her authority second nature to both of us.

Each of these challenges flies in the face of our life experience. Mrs. Lion is a giver. She works hard to accommodate and make people happy. She doesn’t like being in charge and certainly doesn’t like to punish. I am a very autonomous person who is generally in charge of things. I have no real experience being submissive. I have experience being spanked, but only for fun where the sensation builds slowly and the entire experience is erotic. In the past, Mrs. Lion has punished me with a few hard swats that hurt a lot. I had a hard time accepting them and generally squirmed away after four or five.

Successful domestic discipline goes way past the level of spanking we ever tried. This video shows a reasonable domestic discipline spanking. Neither of us is prepared for that. The objective of any domestic discipline punishment is to emphasize the authority of the top and to provide a real deterrent to future misbehavior. There are many kinds of punishment other than spanking. But Mrs. Lion has selected spanking as her first method.

Last week she decided to give me a nightly spanking. Her plan is to get practice doing punishment spankings and to give me a chance to learn to take them gracefully. Her plan was to do this every day for a week. Progress has been slow. This isn’t easy for either of us. I think she might want to extend her daily sessions until we both reach a point closer to that video. I suspect I will need to be restrained for much of this. She learns much more quickly than I do.

I realize that I am in for a painful period of learning. But if FLR / domestic discipline is going to work for us, we have to take discipline to an entirely new level. Clearly, neither of us can handle the kind of spanking I need to get. In the process of learning domestic discipline, we both have to learn to be more aware of my behavior and for Mrs. Lion to begin developing a standard she wants me to meet. That will not happen quickly.

At least the process itself is familiar. We’ve had the same sort of challenges with enforced chastity. In the process of learning, we discovered significant benefits for our relationship; so many benefits, that we won’t be quitting for any reason. That’s positive feedback and suggests that if we seriously pursue FLR/domestic discipline. we may discover new benefits for our marriage.

As with enforced chastity, Mrs. Lion needs to remember and to remind me that I asked for this change. As each practice spanking gets more severe, I may need to be reminded that I asked for this and there is no backing out. Yes, Mrs. Lion, I understand and accept that. I am willing to have difficulty sitting while we learn about domestic discipline.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Spanking

I know I can whomp Lion’s butt hard. I’ve done it. That’s not really in question. The part that bothers me, still, is that I am doing it as punishment. Why am I punishing him? Why am I punishing him? What right do I have to punish him? Yes, I’m still stuck on that. If I wasn’t then I think the logical thing to have done when he got mad at me the other night would have been to get out the paddle and start whacking. Instead, I just felt hurt and I was sure everything was my fault.

First of all, Lion does not want me to whomp him out of anger. If I’m ever that mad it is better for both of us for me to just walk away and come back when I’m more rational. I forget what my sons did when they were little but I remember telling them that I should spank them but if I started I wasn’t sure I would be able to stop so they should just go to their room for a while. Second, at least in this case, it was my fault. The part about ignoring him. Not the part about him not communicating. Third, why can’t I spank him for punishment? Isn’t it similar to spanking him for play? He wants the play and he wants the punishment.

It took me a long time to be comfortable with tease and deny. I thought that it was cruel. Getting my mind wrapped around punishment is just as hard. Lion says I talk a good game in my posts. Well, yeah. I feel like I’m developing a split personality. The top wants to make Lion happy. She’s able to deny him and be mean. She’s able to punish him. She laughs when Lion says his butt hurts or he’s horny. “Regular” me also wants to make Lion happy but every once in a while realizes what the top is doing and slams on the brakes. She’s not mean. She wants to make Lion breakfast on the weekends. The only thing both agree on is that they’re pretty sure they fail at making Lion really happy.

My experiment of punishing Lion every night for a week is to prove to myself I can do it. I know I can. But I have to drill it into my head that this is what he wants and I can do it. Lion wonders why I have focused on spanking as punishment. Well, he suggested it. And I have to start somewhere. Once I am more comfortable with it I may branch out into lengthening his wait, or taking away play days, or maybe something I haven’t thought of yet. Baby steps. I’ll get there.

[Lion — Mrs. Lion wrote this post at the same time I wrote mine for tomorrow. They are very similar. I think Mrs. Lion needs to continue her practice punishment until she is comfortable making it hard for me to sit. I will regret saying this, but it’s the right thing. One thing she is wrong about is making me happy. Both Mrs. Lions make me very happy with or without this stuff. I am happier than I have ever been in my life.]